It has finally happened to me. For some reason I was beginning to think it never would. And then, on Saturday, June
28th, it finally did. Wow,
this is harder to talk about than I thought it would be. I guess I should just get it over with. Just come right out and say it.
I…
I was edited.
Hard to believe, yes I know.
I am well aware that this sort of thing happens all the time when you
deal with periodicals and other such publications. I am not naïve. I didn’t make it to the eighteenth year of my
twenties without a little bit of realistic perspective infecting my brain, and
yet, I found myself surprised.
The following portrays the piece I wrote as it appeared in
the Idaho Statesman.
I know, I know, you are all complimenting me on my brevity
and clarity, but you’re secretly thinking: what kind of jerk has Tom turned
into? Let me assure you, I am not that
kind of jerk. And the only reason it
seems as though I am is because of the shoddy editing inflicted upon me by the
Idaho Statesman. The entire second half
of my wonderfully crafted tribute to the Treasure
Valley
What follows… is what should have followed.
[EDITOR’S NOTE: In the Letters to the Editor section of the
[Author’s Note: The editor did not actually write the editor’s note, but Tom felt it important to include if only to illustrate that your letters can, and do, make a difference]
You see? Doesn’t that
make more sense now? The way the Statesman
printed it demands that the reader remember an essay (brilliant though it was)
that was printed over a year ago. Well that
seemed absurd to me. And it made me mad.
I immediately set to work crafting a follow up letter to
that editor. Something scathing and
vicious. I would put the newspaper in
its place. Everyone in the valley would
cringe as I humiliated them with my words.
And then, of course, I saw the gaping flaw in my plan. What would stop the editor from executing a
few of the more rebellious words and completely neuter my attack?
There followed a bout of writerly depression. Some heavy drinking. On a subconscious level I thought this might
prove useful, perhaps a brilliant manuscript would manifest itself as I
traversed the dark. But alas, no, that
did not happen.
Maybe I was being too hard on the Idaho Statesman. They are allotted only so much space per page
and with everyone vying to opine about the world’s ills, or vent about the
irritating things that other people do, there may not have been room for
something positive and humorous. Or perhaps I was being too critical of the Statesman’s
readership. It’s possible that they
recall a vast majority of the letters printed and the newspaper felt it might
be blatantly offensive to footnote something that ran a mere year ago. Especially a piece as achingly brilliant as
my Best Author letter.
After careful seconds of review I jettisoned the genius-level-readership
hypothesis and moved onto a content-versus-allotted-space analysis. There were four other letters printed that
day. Maybe their content was more
deserving of the precious space. I
realized that an analysis of this sort would require that I read all the other
letters. This seemed tedious. Besides, my letter was awarded the lead
position so, to me, that was proof enough its value. Still, I did contemplate making a quick trip through
the other letters with marker, blacking out any space hogging words that
deserved, much more that I, the editor’s heavy handed attention.
But what then? Send
this to the editor and demand some sort of retraction or apology? No, that would not do. Depression threatened to once again cripple
my writer’s ego. I couldn’t allow that. I needed to stay positive. I needed to rebound from this editing
disaster, do that phoenix from the ashes thing, make some really sweet ass
lemonade from the leftover lemon rinds of my work.
And I did. I pulled
it all together and wrote following piece.
Dear [Insert Editor Name of Widely
Distributed Periodical]
After a successful term of service
with the Idaho Statesman, one in which my name has appeared alongside the
phrases Best Author and/or Best of Treasure Valley more than once, I am parting
company with their periodical and seeking new challenges in a larger
market. I believe [Name of Widely
Distributed Periodical] is an excellent fit for my style of writing and I would
love the opportunity to work for your [Type of Periodical]. I am used to the riggers of an annual column
but feel confident that I could handle the demands of something biannually or
even quarterly. I have several proposals
worked out and would appreciate the chance to share them with you. Please feel free to contact me via e-mail,
phone, or post. I have included an SASE
for your convenience.
I look
forward to hearing from you,
Tom
Landaluce
[Pertinent
Contact Info Here]
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